This guy is West Virginia University. el-Jai, meet Todd Morrison.

He came to my attention after a friend of mine emailed me the link to his website for the now-infamous overturning and burning of a Pontiac Sunfire on Grant Avenue to celebrate our win over Texas Tech in the Sweet 16, i.e., the third round of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament.

As a little history, Grant Avenue has a special place in the heart of West Virginia alumni, because it was and is the site of the Block Party that kicks off the fall semester. In years past and today, it attracts some ten thousand people to mill about the streets of the Sunnyside district of Morgantown, between the downtown and Evansdale campuses. My sophomore year, it was cancelled because a non-student from Maryland fired shots at random into house parties near Willey Street, whereupon passersby tackled him to the ground and took the gun from him. It is a tribute to our sturdiness of mind and body that the gentleman was not physically harmed beyond having the gun taken away, and held for police to arrive; also, that one of the two people shot was so drunk that he wasn't the first to notice he'd been shot.

Ahh, Morgantown. Now, because of ESPN, we have a certain notoriety for our couch-burning fetish following victories or even especially emotional losses. May it please LiveJournal to enter into evidence, this sign from Kegs N Us:



I'm only halfway facetious when I tell people that I intend to use my disposable income to build a used furniture delivery service in Morgantown, operating between September and March. Vagina Tech may not be in the Big East any more, but when you have a large state university and few competing attractions, Division I collegiate sports do weird things to people. And their couches. ["This, sir, is our Jones Avenue model. The cushions are pre-soaked in butane and Wild Turkey, and the tubes along the top contain Roman candles. If you could just sign this disclaimer, please."]

I've only started reading this guy's site, but highlights to this point include:

- His Roman history midterm and his priceless non-response responses.

- "We started off by just throwing lots of ice at B, knowing it would melt later. Then he threw a whole veggie tray equipped with ranch at my camera and knocked it off the tv. It got worse from there...After laughing for a while we realized we needed to clean up. We cleaned up all we could. Then B decided to shit, piss his pants, and let us pee on him." Uhh...I have nothing to add.

- "At the end of my Christmas break I found myself and the same place every night doing the same thing then watching old episodes of Who's the Boss? Remeber (sic) that little Jonathan Bower queer (2 queers in picture)? We investigated him for no reason to see if he ever did anything after his time on the show. Turns out he is really a homo and stars in gay movies. There's a useless gay fact of the year for you." Useless gay fact of the year is a catchphrase that sorely needs a larger audience, so start rating facts in terms of how useless and gay they are, nominating only the most useless and gay for the useless gay fact of the year.

BEST IN SHOW: "So I had my first History 101 quiz last week. Before I tell you my score listen to my professor (803KB). He knows what he is teaching and I respect that but he is hard to understand at times. Oh yeah, I got a 52%."

Is this guy not awesome?